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Discussion Starter #1
Been jogging since April - making progress but very slow - find it a bit frustrating when I read about others starting out and overtaking me in leaps and bounds. However, I really want to stick with it (this time!) as I enjoy what I am doing and, as I am the 'wrong' side of 50 I cannot expect to just be able to put on a pair of running shoes and become a runner overnight! I try to get out Mon/Wed/Fri and either Saturday/Sunday for a slightly longer run taking my dogs for company and really want to try and continue with this in the future months.

However - and here is my quandry - my husband is about to start radiotherapy for cancer which is obviously going to affect him quite a bit. I keep wondering how I am going to be able to continue my running/walking without making it even more difficult for him to cope with not being able to do all the things he normally does. Already he has found it really difficult to handle the fact that I am becoming fitter and he cannot do the things he used to be able to do - so much better than me and with ease. I wonder if I should give it up for a while (don't really want to as enjoy it and it is really therapeutic on those down days). I know that he would not want me to give up for his sake but equally I know it is going to be difficult for him to see me going out for long walks with the dogs and jogging etc. It is also difficult to curb my enthusiasm for reading running articles, books, forums(!) and talking about running etc. whilst I am going out regularly...

Has anyone else on the forum been in a similar situation and how have you dealt with it?
Would appreciate any advice. :confused:
 

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You want to be there for your husband, of course you do, but you also need time for yourself so you dont go mad. Have you considered talking to your husband about it? does he know how you're really feeling? Practically perhaps you could invest in a small treadmill so you can run at home and still be there with him?
 

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Hi there. First let me say how glad I am you are there for your husband at a difficult time.

My wife has several problems which leave her in pain much of the time and I do a lot for her. I often feel guilty that my fitness level is improving faster than hers.

What I try to justify is that my health is just as important. In your case I think there are a couple of things worth bearing in mind.

1. Your dogs will still need exercising.
2. You must ensure no matter how supportive you are that you still retain some "me" time and that could be your runs.
3. Once you are at a level a 5k run will take 30ish minutes. 3 times a week is only 1 1/2 hours out of your week.

Good luck to both of you. Remember that we are always here if you want.
 

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Discussion Starter #4
Thank you so much for your replies. It helps to know people understand. Hrun, sounds like your wife is very lucky to have you there for her. I know you are right and I do have to think of myself too - just difficult to do sometimes.
 

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I consider myself lucky to have met her. We finally got married in October after a 12 year engagement. Your hubby is lucky too!

Hang onto the running as a release. I am sure Mr will understand.
 

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Hi Altna

You need to keep yourself fit and well for your husband to help him, Hrun has hit the nail on the head with it all, best of luck and besides you are never the wrong side of any age to start running, check out fellow forumite "Runningfox" the man is incredible.

One other thing to help improve your running have you considered entering a race?

All the best and keep us posted on your progress and your husbands.

TT :d
 

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Hi Altna... Sorry to hear of your husbands illness and I can see both sides of the quandary

I think communication is the key, both of you need to be open, and understanding of each others feelings.

We're all here to support you
 

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Discussion Starter #8
Thank you again for your replies. Liz33y - I have been watching your great progress - well done! I actually have a treadmill here (not using it at the moment while the weather comparatively good) but it is a possible option.
Twinkle Toes - I have actually entered the Loch Ness 5k which will be about a week after Peter's treatment finishes so I am just hoping he will be up to coming along/well enough for me to go. I thought it would help to keep me focused, as you suggested, if I have a race to aim for. If I don't manage to get there at the end of the day it is not the end of the world.
Trinity - I know he would not be happy if I stopped doing the things I enjoy - it is probably more an issue in my head than his - I have to learn how to balance his (unintentionally imposed) needs with mine. I guess it is that strong female ability to feel guilty about doing things for yourself rather than others..
Been back to the hospital today prior to the start of radiotherapy tomorrow. They take great pains to stress this is palliative treatment but do still say there is a chance it could be more of a success than they expect - so we have to hang on to that. News of a new 'wonder drug' in the paper today - at least that gives us something else at the end of the day if all does not go so well.
THANK YOU all for your support. I will let you know how things go and will try to keep myself out there.
 

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Hi Altna, You are never the wrong side of any age to start running, check out fellow forumite "Runningfox" the man is incredible. TT :d
Flattery will get you everywhere TT!
To return to Altna, I'm not sure running will help her like it did me, but it got me out of a nasty big hole and back onto the straight and narrow at a time when I was at a very low ebb - for all sorts of reasons. I found running very therapeutic. It restored a positive attitude when life had all seemed to be going horribly wrong. Running gave me something to focus upon and channel my energies into until, somewhat amazingly, I experienced that wonderful calm of having ridden out the storm and everything in the garden became wonderfully rosy again.
Actually, there's a lot more to it than that. It's a body and soul affair because for some magical reason the dawn of my running career in 1986 was synonymous with my re-entry into the Church after years of backsliding. For the past twenty two years the two have complemented each other perfectly and I've never felt happier or more fulfilled.
Cheers!
 

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Discussion Starter #10
Hi
Just to let you know that my husband got through all the radiotherapy without too many problems - certainly not as bad as we had been told to expect. Still got some problems from it (and others that have occurred since) but we have learnt to take each day as it comes.
I have managed to keep up my running, albeit very low key. Without managing to escape from work at lunchtimes to indulge in 30 mins of jogging/running, on those days when life looks very bleak, I don't think I would cope half as well. I might not be very good at running but it certainly helps me get through the day.
Managed to do the Loch Ness 5k yesterday - with my husband there to watch. Delighted I made the effort - got my PB of 34 mins. Already planning the next ones....
 

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Glad to hear about your husband Altna :)

I am currently looking after my mother a lot - she has terminal lung cancer, they said it was inoperable and gave her 3 months to live, that was last September, she's still sitting up saying there's "nowt wrong with her" (but she gets very depressed and our conversations consist mostly of her saying she just wants to die :(

The running certainly gives me something else to focus on, things can be bleak, and like you I don't know what I'd do without it.

Keep on running :cool:
 

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Discussion Starter #12
Hi Roadrunnerrob
Sorry to hear about your mum It must be really tough for you both.
Your mum is lucky to have you.
 

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Altna,

Well done to both of you! Your husband must have been very proud seeing you out racing. I an thrilled that his treatment is going well and that you are still getting out there.

Rob,

Your mother sounds like quite a character. My best to both of you.
 

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Altna that is all round good news that you kept to your running and that your husband is making a recovery and came to see you run too.

Rob - I am sorry to hear about your mum like Hrun says she does sound like a character who is made of the tough stuff.
 
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